every step

April 22, 2017

every left instead of right

stay instead of go

run instead of stand

led me here

and finally

all the fight and flight

all the not quite and almosts

have me here.

Just.

right.

Surprised, awed, spurred-on yet so contented.

right.

here.

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is it possible

April 21, 2017

to go through mid-life crisis

and not crisis?

I think it is.

It means to change.

Grow.

Where body and even mind

had become accustomed to settle.

one just has to be willing to

grow

and not call it death.

just as we do

children.

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I cried at breakfast

April 21, 2017

‘shhh, it is nothing’

I cried at recess

‘shhh no need for such carrying on’

I cried at bedtime

‘you must control yourself’.

[….]

50 years

now they are telling

these emotions

they make the me.

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trust.

he said he trusts me.

why I

April 21, 2017

why I don’t go to a building named ‘church’

no need to care; this is just something I want to share.

I believe God is there, don’t get me wrong

but I have a hard time finding Him when I put on my Sunday best,

do up the hair and walk through the doors-show and tell’s begun.

God is under the covers with a cup of steaming coffee and a journal open on my lap.

In the moment as I close my eyes and feel the wonder of the day I just lived.

In the sight of my husband, children, friends as they see me in return.

And as for church,

the place where we gather, we humans here on earth, seeking a community to belong to, to make sense of whatever this thing of life is, well that church has no steeple or bell, no organ or even choir-although some do still argue they have great singing voices.

No my church I visit regularly right outside my front door.

In the people I pass as I walk, who sit alongside me in cubbies at the coffeeshop, who come,

each year, and new, not just returned, to retreats, to workshops-to my side to wonder at the creation we get to be part of, together, for just a little while.

Perhaps, can I ask, is this not what was intended in creating a something called ‘church’?

Is the relationship God was seeking in creating creators much like himself actually this?

This is my why I.

why you?

church

April 20, 2017

long, long ago humans came together around one common interest, God, and began to call this ‘church’.

now, humans come together around one common interest-be it job, family, craft, hobby, passionate endeavoring.

No matter the ‘what’, we come together, still.

we just don’t call it ‘church’.

yet God shows up all the same~

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