Aloneness always leads to rawness and vulnerability; to a fearful simplicity, to not recognizing and not knowing, to the wish to find any company other than that not knowing, unknown self, looking back at us in the silent mirror.
David Whyte
This has been the best day ever.
I woke grumpy and disgrunted.
I attended vigil and became more so; x 1000.
I ate with the others; oatmeal with raisins.
I determined to write before I ‘got to’ go for a hike. I suffered the consequences of this forced action.
I walked.
I rose.
I lifted.
I saw the sun and the clouds, the sky and the grasses. I felt the squish of the earth and the torn remains of fallow fields. I walked unrecognizable trails and came out onto familiar paths. I found my way….
And then I decided that to follow the prescription of this place was to make the decision to lemming myself to the ways of history.
I do not live in history, I live in today. Where the sun shines, the wind blows the window wide, and the caretaker pulls his wagon of raked leaves across the cobbled walkway, the resonance of its wheels reaches my ears way up here in cell 301, delighted to realize it, and I, exist.
This is enough.
I get to.
Have bad days that become the best day ever.