I don’t want any more.
Stop your revelations. Cease
your talking as if you had news.
I am stubborn in this you bet.
but I am so tired of you telling me this is enough.
That I already have all I need.
This is not true when you put in me the dream. It is not honest to lead me to inspirations only to dash them when given
to the light of day. You do not play fair.
So stop it. Be quiet now. I will rest in my stubbornness. I have no strength to believe for your truth. The world keeps dashing it on the rocks and you seem to keep letting it happen. I will not believe right now. I want no more of your manna. I need no quail. I was yes asking for more-you held out the offering as if it were mine! How dare you how dare you how dare you tease and taunt and masquerade like the devil. Your word would have me believe it is all in love. Religion tries to convince me that it’s all for my own good. You play a mean game God, and I am not a fair opponent. You made me feel as if I had power. Power you supplied. Why then, do you turn away laughing with a smirk on your face, as if you’ve pulled off a great coo, stealing my heart, my trust, my hope, that you said were from you to begin with? Is that how you play? Giving, only to Indian give? Dear God, I don’t want to hear from you for awhile. Be quiet now.
WOW!!! Feeling some of these things myself right now. “The world is your oyster”, “Act as if”, “Progress not perfection”, “You are what you eat (and think, and believe)”…I, like you, have had enough right now. I don’t know what to believe. I hear that “Whee there is a will, there is a way” yet the reality of it all comes crashing down on me and it makes me feel guilty. Did I not REALLY believe that it was possible? Did I secretly, deep inside, actually hold doubt? I want to believe in my dreams. I honestly do. But, sometimes, they are someone else’s dreams, not mine. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe another sleep and another dream…
oh boy ditto. ditto. ditto. ditto. and yet, I press-on….