What will it feel like, when I once again gather into my arms my child, my friend, my follower there by the roadside?
Will this journey we are traveling on and through will it
prove to give me something I’d no idea I needed and therefore
become all the richer for?
Or will it merely feel good; for the moment of the arms wrapping,
the heart swelling, the skin tingling with touch, will this be all and there
we return to normal, that was never that anyway~
We are meant for more than this.
Rebirth.
I’m afraid that this time in isolation is going to make me more of an introvert, more less self-assured than I ever was. It took me years to trust people and my feelings. Years to allow myself to care, to touch, to be vulnerable. And now, in the blink of an eye, I feel I am back there again; afraid, lonely, questioning myself and others, pushing back against what had been bursting out all my life. Fear of abandonment is real. It really is. And I am afraid to be abandoned and left here alone, sad, quivering, and no longer trusting.