what is it lke to be alive now
I take it all as a sign of something
the god I used to call to God still there somehow but even if not that too okay it is all this the red bud bursting the dogwood abloom the leaves falling the petals turning it is all this I need nothing else even as I need so much more I dreampt that I said that even just last night in the shape of a comic strip black and white young boy pleasure expelled vision approved I want more and I woke aching but healed from the past days of illness weary but stronger than before a melancholy I did not want yet it too alright not of nostalgia but of this want what if it too were the proof what if it too were the message what if it too meant all this and nothing more can I put down the knife that anymore cleaves two halves-or are there more there are more-of myself and simply lies there resting inert next to the cherry stems and apple cores and peach pits against the bowls edge and the juice stained cutting board
all proofs must be returned
this is where I am