you can gently open your eyes
an imperative one couched in choice we all need to wake up or there is no one here
when the door opened and the dove flew I was surprised by the touch of air on my cheek and the swish of sound there but almost also not
these surprises kept me going as the ice bucket borrowed from the laminate cabinet curned around my shaking arms
holding the contents of my stomach as I released them to the world at intervals thorughout the night
I was reminded of the same cay back in 2017
and the reasons kept flooding from me
to me
telling me a long story of my life
and the way of living in falsehood couched as convention and culture or a version the world requested
or the aftermath of choosing this way over
that was the inside coming out
now the wash done the ice bucket cleaned the debris of a night felt more like a dream yet for the cleched gut still lingering
always remember
always remember
always
remember
who you are
there is no other way to stop the flood from cinching the waist while also bloating your core
with its lies and maligning
we need a better world
where ice buckets as recepticles of lost selves needn’t exist yet instead flowers pushing budded faced to the sun catch us in our step
everytime