again

you know

when that thing hits

it takes your breath away or

causes you to grasp the cotton of your tshirt between your clenched hands at your chest with an earnestness you thought had died upon that bed  that first time  that blood letted anticipation of joy

and here you are so so oh so far

along on this track this path this course this journey

called life and there it is again

thought lost  thought given away thought rendered to another in one swift thrust

but no

here you are

again sliced through by the final choice that can not be changed

and the determination to realize the pleasure of the decision made real