I can remember it feeling abject disgust
for myself
I was never of a way that called for such disgust yet there it was sure I made mistakes I
did things that left me regret remorse
not so much to hate
the very self I am there is never enough mis
take to go so deeply against thy
self
yet I can see her still the body I was shrinking from
the things around her as the insides said this was the truth
all the while reaching out with her soul to settle into the place that filled in
the true truth that’d been washed under all this muck
she returns sometimes to thank
and to remind and feel and submerse in sensory recalls again it’s
in the form of fear now and
distrust that all that has proven true
isn’t
I crawl away from it these days the visceral sense of having missed something and therefore no longer
I crawl away