this upon hearing of the death of Fran Sorber
I have a preternatural curiosity
born of shared history had it not become so I would never know
of her passing years or daily trials or monthly blessings
but because of a gun
a choice is made
that can’t be unmade
I know again the time we shared
woman who have you been
that you leave the world behind
who am I that I am still here
how difficult or was it easy to pull the trigger and call it finished
and what did you determine that made it a final and complete
so
I am sad for your children
as we shared some years of their friendship
wondering really what it is like
so that I can know
when it’s my time to go
I have held a gun only in fascination
I would not choose it
I wonder where you found the will
to pull the trigger on a life so well lived
no way of knowing
what left behind is left behind