which is not to say I see because

seeing is different than looking

seeing is what we are born with, most of us, and not something that has required any effort on our part

looking is effortful we are called to action to attention when we are called to look

so I started looking at things in ways time, place, position, people, wouldn’t have allowed me to open my eyes to before

but this is after, or at least some point in ‘during’ and I have no more before

it’s become a thing one can only talk about there is no anticipation of return or expectation of regroup

these are gone forever

looking then, as I open my weary eyes and turn my face to the light of this one new day all

that there is I can find that presence is a thing I can look at

time is a substance I can choose to schedule or let flow

and place is a gift that keeps on lending its beauty to my one position here

now.

there you are, still yourself, with your particular way of loving. And there is the world, still full of people to love.