It woke me at 12:30am.
It wasn’t the expected trip
to the toilet.
The mother voice in my head sent me there nonetheless.
I could feel my concerned-brow furrow even in this half-wake state.
She’d been on my mind-
at least in the background-for
days; maybe weeks.
I was not surprised to find her yet there at this 12:30 waking.
But this felt different than the ‘on my mind’ I’d been harboring-
More present. Pressing.
I took the aforementioned trip
picked up book in defeat of returning to sleep
and soon fell into forgotten immediacy of that pervading presence.
7:30am found her.
Stiff. Even to her tail.
It was expected yet so startling.
She’d had a very hard life. Made none the easier by my care.
I came to love her reluctantly-
stubborn to let her invade my heart with
love for a cat.
She chose me.
Clinging to my arms and neck 7 years ago
at 12:30am with her last breath-
or was it her passed spirit?-
Clinging for one final moment.
She leaves me with the duty of giving her a gentle
the duty of exploring what is meant to be chosen by such a small