Have you had to do that, sit still and rest? It sounds like such a glorious position to take when I am catching the next flight,
and hurrying to the car rental kiosk
and juggling another city map as I simultaneously try to read the flashing-by signposts….
but as I sit here today, Tuesday afternoon, 50+ hours into what I suspect is the *ahem*
<flu>
…..don’t tell my mother….
I struggle and strive and fidget and mumble to be still!
We move in 16 days.
Correction; we have to be out of this house we miraculously sold in just 8 days
in 16 days.
We are ‘moving’ each and every day until then.
Boxing and bagging and listing and trashing all that ‘s been important, and less than, in this house for the past four years.
And everything that came with us here four years ago from the previous 12 and 20 and 30 year before….
It feels good.
It is the right thing.
I haven’t regretted, or questioned sanity or grown fear’s cold sweat since making the decision.
But oh!
sitting still while all this moving goes on around me,
correction,
moving goes on in my head as my body tries to sit still and recover,
I can’t help but wistfully harken back to the last day on the plane imagining this month of no doing
this month of no travel
and wonder why I can’t just sit still and listen
to the blissful silence of
peace in moving forward.
I have time.
I do not need to work in haste.
And the flu is telling me so.
forcing me to know so.
I rest.
I remind myself of the desire for this sitting and being.
And realize, perhaps,
it is always ascribing to the next thing,
that drives my now.
In rush I seek quiet.
In quiet I look forward to doing.
I enjoy this.
Because in it,
I always seek forward.
I always see past now into what can be.
That is hope.
And I will always have it.
Today, body rests as mind moves. I am happy.
Rest in my restless. It is good!
in love. trish