There is another world, and it is this one. Paul Eluard

The noisy song we make all together

this is my idea of prayer~

I can’t get all of WinterWax and the time out of my thoughts-this is not a problem, but a gift. 

Merton spoke to me this morning, ‘There is living and then there is living.’
Such a simple phrase, but mighty powerful in my brain this week.
I have been experiencing mini panic attacks since WinterWax concluded. Moments that seize my brain, squish it tight, take my throat and lungs along with it and even try to grab my heart in its clenches as well.
Am I being asked to notice something, or am I weakened to not notice?!
I haven’t had this happen since my first son was born and I, in my sleep deprived state, wondered into the night at his bedside how I was ever going to go back to work and leave him! (Then there was the boarding flight to AU the first time…but I’ll leave that moment sit to the airline personnel and my wise son who so graciously helped me over that mountain…)
Just as then, I am now facing a huge life-altering state of being. I have something rich and rewarding and beautiful and fragile before me and I have to decide if I am going to pick it up, hold it close and nurse it to its full strength, or settle on doing the necessary, the daily, to just get by until I die…
It seems so easy when stated this way but it’s deeper. I wont die unsatisfied; I’ve lived rich and would continue to paint, run this castle, host workshops as I have. I would have EncaustiCamp each summer and never mind the lives of four precious gingerangas to follow and enfold myself in…
There is more.
And God help me, I keep on asking for more.
There is living, and then there is living.

And that brings me to the post title: Resonance.

It is this that happened at WinterWax, that keeps reverberating through my brain and not letting me go; a gift of remembering.


This is what was felt, perhaps what was created, at WinterWax. It is what is created each year at EncaustiCamp. It is what happens in a space where people find their people and become one unit, if not only for a short time.

We resonate. The air between us resonates. We become resonance. We carry it within, and carry it in-

and take it back out.

It is in this spirit that good things are created, and good things take on life of their own-

and last. 


This resonance; whether it built as we gathered or waited in the wings already established for us to enter and it to invade, was deep and pervading and real at WinterWax. And it is still in the swoosh of its peaceful departure, resettling into the walls of this house and my mind, that I realize my anxieties.

I want more.

We, I, can not live without this melody that sings when we gather together around like minds, shared ventures, similar hoped-for’s~ 

There is living, and then there is living. says Merton.

So it is to this resonance, realized, still pulsating in the walls of this house and the walls of my mind, that I acknowledge, bow graciously, and let go of anxiety. I have realized from what it manifest, and turned it down to the gift it is meant to be. Spur me on, resonance, to do the more, to ask for the more, and offer it back to those who will come.

Resonance, resonate…

Carry what it is you are further, farther, faster, so that not only I, but all those others whomever they be, will hear the melody and come be in the presence as well~

Anything good in your past is a harbinger of what is to come in greater quantities~



This is the necessity the other side of my anxiety~

Now, if I build it, will they come? Will they really, really, really come?

I will build it; will you come?
in love.