Before the Brush

407: nobody ever had or was a self*

by pbsartist | April 24, 2024 | OPENstudio | 0 Comments

hit the nail on the head he says I agree before leads in the next question as usual always more questions no absolutes why self at all it's only caused so many troubles wars fights separations the least of which the longest name misunderstandings isn't it really all...

406: we must always look at things from the point of view of eternity*

by pbsartist | April 22, 2024 | OPENstudio | 0 Comments

The peony spring-festooned with frills like a netted-skirt party dress panting it may seem against the too-early-to-arrive heat The grand mountain hiked summers bottom to top then top to bottom in return feeling good next day's exhilaration the body cradled today...

405: as the world turns

by pbsartist | April 20, 2024 | OPENstudio | 0 Comments

plants appear not as objects but subjects these living, striving beings are trying to make it in the world— and trying to make the world that they are a part of as I look around the rooms I see hanging, sitting, cascading fonds, leaves, flowers I wonder at their...

404: push back

by pbsartist | April 18, 2024 | OPENstudio | 0 Comments

why push back against the morning it comes for millennia no consideration for whether it's wanted or not a lesson there choosing what is right for the one holding fast to conviction and keeping on changes the world one day at a time

403: slump back

by pbsartist | April 16, 2024 | OPENstudio | 0 Comments

slump back into the cradle of bedpraising the actionable works of anotheras if by association, earned merits for oneselfwhen life tolls what will stand more worthythe bed having cradledthe man having praisedor the one having raised their hand, placing it onto the...

402: walk in the dark

by pbsartist | April 14, 2024 | OPENstudio | 0 Comments

It can be so strange to walk through the darkness in a space a room a corridor which you know so well in the light you can find your way alright recalling from when the light illuminated still the table there the chair the cabinet the bush the tree trunk yet you find...

401: boxed there

by pbsartist | April 12, 2024 | OPENstudio | 0 Comments

The television begins to ring my ears boxed there just 8 feet away he pays no mind this is normal for him an ignorable habit for me an intrusion on peace is this sensitivity too much to the normalcy of life or do I harken back to days when we had interior spaces to...

400: hostile environment

by pbsartist | April 10, 2024 | OPENstudio | 0 Comments

introspection soon proves hostile even laws of physics confounding prove out more reliable and real than the thoughts that arise sitting alone with chin tucked to chest that navel we so want to be right understand and comprehend and get things of this world well right...

399: a sadness comes in

by pbsartist | April 8, 2024 | OPENstudio | 0 Comments

a sadness comes in inexplicable no less even more painful because of that. no explanation, same inconsistencies and doubts, same stilted insecurities and fragile sense of rooting drying out reaching for the ground water can one accept this struggle continuing as it...

398: that’s enough to live by

by pbsartist | April 6, 2024 | OPENstudio | 0 Comments

For a long while I thought life was about finding your purposethat I’d slot into a rail meant for me and all would flow beautifullyfrom there in it’s own rightin retrospect it’s happened twicechildrenbook publishedyet clearly-or clearer anyway-nowfrom my...

398: the immediacy

by pbsartist | April 4, 2024 | OPENstudio | 0 Comments

of skin and heartbeat even birdsong fades a bit and sun burning into skin no matter even this the immediacy of life and what is right there in front of you comes in surprising ways sure, easy to see: in sex, the body of another so present that moment.... but it's...

397: today I was

by pbsartist | April 2, 2024 | OPENstudio | 0 Comments

disgruntled frustrated holding a grudge not against as if someone's slight just holding foolish I know knew it from the moment I held it in my hand yet there it was rolling around my palm all the day long as I paint my sons garage alone then a run for supplies alone...

396: registration marks

by pbsartist | March 31, 2024 | OPENstudio | 0 Comments

they litter the earth each body bespoke by their branding we give it words unique individual special these qualify and quantify giving some satisfaction figured it out did you? marginalize these marks into categories and compartments looking for a lightness of being...

395: wonder

by pbsartist | March 29, 2024 | OPENstudio | 0 Comments

days are moments how much greatness are you willing to grant another? do you realize who you are talking to? can you glimpse sideways the depth of wonder in that one? a bright light, filtered through the skin the bone opaque, firmly planted deeply rooted in this world...

394: body and soul

by pbsartist | March 27, 2024 | OPENstudio | 0 Comments

soul spoke to me this morning half-moon in the window sun through the front fumbling there for purchase something to hold on to pull itself up years of searching find me right where I left off not wax not brush not color not pages but shear sensitivity of skin...

393: part two

by pbsartist | March 25, 2024 | OPENstudio | 0 Comments

I can't call Him God anymore I can't write hello, imagined being in my head there floating as if awaiting my words rapt to come down and grant my every wish nor waiting, to see if I have aligned to His grand plan so the perfect miracle would (finally) descend into my...

392: soulful

by pbsartist | March 23, 2024 | OPENstudio | 0 Comments

in shorthand we call it soul but what is it really as soon as it's spied then drafted into definition it is gone there is a sameness today tomorrow yesterday that follows in the wake of change it is to this sameness we turn as the clock speeds along its lifeline the...

391: lightness of being

by pbsartist | March 21, 2024 | OPENstudio | 0 Comments

weighs heavy each body its own yet tethered by the next all along a great trajectory not just space but time too ties skin and flesh to earth and air we travel as if this were a place the place and it is but it is also just one place the seeking, searching once...

390: turned

by pbsartist | March 19, 2024 | OPENstudio | 0 Comments

They turned me down again I set it up to happen even told myself it would be a blessing the way to move forward by releasing this 'past' It hurt though rejection even one I set myself up for I am pretty sure it will act as a catalyst, move me in the direction I am...

389: but why (or No More God)

by pbsartist | March 17, 2024 | OPENstudio | 0 Comments

but why must we persevere why do we say we're put here for a reason that persisting is a necessity like breath like food and if we give it up no longer drive forward we are somehow not doing our work of believing or holding faith or keeping hope alive bullshit I say....

388: Used for Good

by pbsartist | March 15, 2024 | OPENstudio | 0 Comments

I notice patterns rejections in history the 'you can't's 'you won't's 'you need me to live's are torches held to my will fuel to my soul fire would these maybe have kept their mouths shut if they'd know what was meant for ill.... scarred; but scars toughen making what...

387: I’m open to other avenues

by pbsartist | March 13, 2024 | OPENstudio | 0 Comments

every idea and conceptualization entertained do not think me closed or unreceptive I can be no more open than I am now torn asunder splayed heart rendered on muddied earth flailing all this loss and debris I should clean this up

386: to create

by pbsartist | March 11, 2024 | OPENstudio | 0 Comments

it doesn't stop or start or only lie on the beauty swept across the blank canvas the hemline remains where the caught lose thread unraveled so I start there at the bottom to create beauty comes from the other there alongside communed holding hands across space a blank...

385: you save two people, your viewer and yourself

by pbsartist | March 9, 2024 | OPENstudio | 0 Comments

I recall the twisted steel spine the most the tin spaceship-like body the knob at the top not as much energy pumped along this spine hold the knob and push more pump more spin when it was good let go it twisted and spiraled created a blur of color until its inevitable...

384: two lines said it all

by pbsartist | March 7, 2024 | OPENstudio | 0 Comments

so why did I not leave it at that eloquently perched for all eyes to fall upon words skipping one after the other full of rich reward for the heart I did not resist the urge to have my say does this make me selfish a narcissist some would think so but aren't we all...

383: hung there

by pbsartist | March 5, 2024 | OPENstudio | 0 Comments

in the window by the cords I myself twisted into a sturdy hammock speckled nothing quite like it it caught my eye and made me pause at a moment in which pausing was chaos grateful vitiligo in a plant so beautiful human's eyes can learn to see...

382: the pain

by pbsartist | March 3, 2024 | OPENstudio | 0 Comments

the mournful draw of the bow across the strings did I choose it or did it choose me this morning of mourning why do we fathers and mothers parents become when the ache as they move on is more than one should bear this is life

381: haiku

by pbsartist | March 1, 2024 | OPENstudio | 0 Comments

click and search again the house will appear when it appears he and I hold tight

380: this tearing

by pbsartist | February 28, 2024 | OPENstudio | 0 Comments

early life was together forever what has become our modern age that is as we call it better living without so that they can live well foolishness loss of life

379: forbearance

by pbsartist | February 26, 2024 | OPENstudio | 0 Comments

What lasting impact ever withstood a rush modern world minds stop after a line believing something better awaits so they move on when taking the next step demands staying in one place the tension builds too much for these humans of today make your way through the...